By Leslie Gray Streeter When I first read that comedian and writer Carol Leifer had written a memoir, I remember thinking "Yes! A book about a celebrity whose life story and body of work actually justify text longer than ‘And then I did something dumb, and then I was in a tabloid, and then I did something else dumb, and then I wrote this book.’ " Leifer, after all, has one heck of a résumé — stand-up, writer for Seinfeld, Saturday Night Live and The Larry Sanders Show, frequent late night talk show guest and, coming soon, a stint as a would-be acolyte of The Donald on NBC’s Celebrity Apprentice. And then there’s her personal life, which, as you know, is where most stand-ups get their best stuff — divorced and having dated men for most of her life, she met and fell for a woman and renewed her commitment to Judaism with a Bat Mitzvah in her 40s, adopted a son with her partner, Lori, in her 50s, and became a vegan. The funny/sad/moving/beautifully resonate result is When You Lie About Your Age, The Terrorists Win, which Leifer will talk about over cocktails and Greek munchies at an event Monday at Ouzo Blue in PGA Commons, sponsored by the Jewish Community Centers of the Palm Beaches. "What I love about doing the book tour is that the Jewish Book Council approved my book, and for a Jewish girl from Long Island, besides writing for Seinfeld, there is no bigger stamp of approval," Leifer told me. Leifer covers many topics in When You Lie About Your Age, but one of the constants is her relationship with her father, Seymour, who died a few weeks before her Bat Mitzvah. Some of my favorite parts of the book are Leifer’s remembrance of how he was her first comic idol, how he sometimes blurted out insensitive comments without thinking, and about how her search for her true Jewish self seemed to inform a similar search for him at the end of his life. It’s hard not to tear up a little reading it. "The first essay was about when my dad passed away, and how he wasn’t around for me to send him a gift," she says. "I started performing (pieces from the book) around town at this little dinky theater that holds 75 people, and we had over 30 requests for the piece. I love that this piece makes me think about my dad. It’s cathartic for me ." Part of that connection, Leifer says, is a "no holds barred" policy between her and her audience, mining her life and her considerable humor, which makes her story all the more identifiable. "There’s a lot of bad essay writing out there, that’s very self-indulgent, and you’re like ‘Why is this person telling me this? That’s

really personal! I don’t care to know this!’ " she says. "But when you’re exploring a deeper subject, you’re exploring depths of your soul (more than when you’re) coming up with a sketch on SNL. It was really fun to write this kind of book." Being that candid about your life means you’re also being candid about the people who share your life. Leifer says that her partner, Lori Wolf, "has gotten used to it. It’s kind of an occupational hazard of being with a writer. Your personal life is really your canvas that you draw on. The upside of revealing yourself is that we just went to the gift suites at the Golden Globes (where attendees are showered with freebies), so there’s a yin and yang." Another upside of being a celebrity? Being on The Celebrity Apprentice’s upcoming third season, where Leifer competes with contestants such as singer Cyndi Lauper, Sharon Osbourne, disgraced former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich and athletes Summer Saunders, Michael Johnson and Daryl Strawberry. While being on the show is as "insane" as it appears to be from watching it, Leifer says the actual experience was "30 times harder than I thought it would be. It really is, mentally and physically. They really work you. You’re working till midnight and then you’re up at 5 in the morning. " Speaking of camp — Leifer says that, without giving away too much, her biggest personal surprise among the contestants was Poison lead singer Bret Michaels, star of the surrealistically trashy VH1 "dating" show Rock of Love. It seems that the man who brought us Talk Dirty to Me is more than the sum of his bandana-loving parts — "I kinda pictured him as a bubble-headed rock star, but he couldn’t be a more down-to-earth, nicer guy," she says. Of course, some of life’s best realizations are surprises, and Leifer says that the point of her book is that getting older, "which for women is such a scary process," has turned out to be rewarding in ways she could never had imagined. "I remember as a kid — and everybody did this — I would think about the year 2000 and think ‘How old will I be? 43!,’" she says. "The image of 43, then, was ‘Oh, God, I’ll have one foot in the grave! I’ll be an old lady!’ But so much of the message of the book is that the best part of my life has happened since I’m 40. You really are comfortable in your own skin. You appreciate life on a different level. I don’t think women hear that a lot at all. People are really fearful about getting older, and not just women. But it can be the greatest part of life." ~leslie_streeter@pbpost.com

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Comic Leifer content with getting older